Yesterday, I Became A Man

I am happier now than I have been in a very, very long time.

Very long time.

Can you guess why?

Because I'm 18.

That's right. I'M LEGAL!!!!!!

So my birthday was yesterday. Yesterday was also my last day of high school, EVER. How ridiculously cool is that? "Happy birthday, you don't have to put up with high school anymore!"

I still can't get over it. I'm absolutely brimming with energy. I wish I could have felt like this throughout school. I might have done better. No more world history, no more 'creative writing', no more marching band, no more bad lunches, no more essays (until next year). NO MORE GETTING UP AT 6 AM! I hope...

So I also had a lot of ice cream yesterday. No, not that kind. The real stuff. Ooooh, yeah.

Let's see.....two cups full of it in AP English, to celebrate the last day.....a chocolate malt, for my birthday, from my brother.....a HUGE cone later, after seeing Madagascar, which, by the way, is awesome.....I think that's it. I felt a bit sick. And for those of you who were with me at Pondarosa, THAT is about as much ice cream as I can handle. One large cone is nothing, so stop thinking it. I can get it in four, maybe five times a day.

I escaped the senior picnic like a ninja, jumping fences, dodging guards, and chucking throwing-stars. Well, sort of. It seems, however, that I was the only one who actually made the attempt. Everyone else who left just asked. I don't know how they were allowed, as we were specifically told that we had to stay, but I don't mind. I'm glad to have the chance to apply my amazing stealth abilities.

I spent some time in a park with 'the guys.' At least, some of them. That was pretty fun. Played on a playground, very immature, took a walk on the nature trails, very lame, boarded without a board, very stupid. Fun, right? Well, it was. So shut up.

Came home, watched Hero. That was a decent movie. Waaaay too much slow-motion, though.

And that was about it for yesterday.

Okay, so I did other stuff, too, but I won't bore you with all of that.

Today, I slept in until noon. Oh, that felt nice.

Around 2, we left with Jake to go disk-golfing. That was more fun than putting a mouthy woman in her place. Well over two miles of frisbee-ing, plenty of wading into lakes to recover our frisbees, and chips and pop as far as the eye can see, if you're looking into a bag or bottle. Seriously, it was fun. Everyone has to come sometime, because we will DEFINITELY be doing that again.

Afterwards, we ate at KFC, which was cool.

Now I'm back home, doing the typical internet thing. All in all, a good two days, and my best birthday ever.

You know what's really great about being 18?

Now I can play all those stupid 'win a free ipod' games, and actually redeem my prize!!

Hah. Hah. Heh.

And Jacob says, "Let's play Texas Hold 'em without the cards!!"

Regrets

Something just occurred to me the other day.

Regret is the most evil emotion to ever haunt a young adult's mind.

Jealousy, depression, hatred, anger, mistrust, disgust, paranoia. You can throw them all at me at once, and I'd prefer it to regret. Regret is one thing you can never fix. The futility of it is just so.....horrible.

That's why I'm going to invent a time machine. All I need is an infinite improbability drive, and I'm set.

Look out, past mistakes! Here I come!

And the Final Message says, "Sorry for the inconvenience."

Call Me Darth Xyzivos

Oh my.

Oh dear.

The Guide has a bit of competition.

Tonight, I saw the new Star Wars movie. There is far too much to say about it for one post. But I'll get some of it, while it's still fresh in my mind. I won't say too much, though, for anyone who has not yet seen the movie.

The acting was a lot better, for one thing. I still can't stand Padme (If I'm spelling that correctly), but overall, better.

R2 should be renamed "Butcherer of Droids."

So many lightsabers, how could that not be an awesome thing? I mean, really? It's impossible not to like.

The opening scene was well done. I was getting a bit dizzy.

I'm sad that the Jedis, well, you know, but one of the two female Jedis in existance met a particularly moving demise. Why couldn't those big mean clones just stop shooting for a minute, just to check and see if she was dead?

Sidious had too many voices. Dooku went too quickly. Some parts seemed pointless. Other than that, I COMPLETELY LOVE IT!!!

Ugh, I want to talk about it more, but I know I'll spoil everything.....

I guess I have to stop. I'll go ahead and apologize if I spelled any names incorrectly.

One last thing. In case y'all didn't notice my cleverly hidden link in my "Link of HyRULEZ" post, I have another blog. All artwork, updated frequently. Feel free to criticize me. I can take it. I'm a Jedi.....by day.

One last time. This movie is incredible. It's almost worth having to sit through Episode II.

And Yoda says, "Not if anything to say about it, I have."

The Rigors Of Intelligence

Sometimes I hate being so clever, so charming and prodigious. It can lead to severe psychological problems.

When left to my own devices, I invariably think myself into a severe state of depression. That's what comes from overanalysis. So don't do it.

I was left to my own devices today.

Plus I was very, very tired.

And I've had practically nothing to eat for days.

I think it's understandable that I would be in a stand-offish mood, don't you?

So I spent a lot of time staring.

That's how I think. I stare. Sometimes I think about whatever I'm staring at, but other times.....

Eventually, as I contemplated everything that has ever frustrated me, something I do often, the stare became a glare, and I began to try to burn things with my eyes.

This intensity petered out after a while, and I settled into the regular self-loathing stage, criticizing myself and all my flaws. Not that I expect myself to be perfect. I just don't like a lot of things about me.

Now, I'm kind of draped across a chair, trying to use as little energy as possible in typing, and moaning in agony from all the scar tissue in my mouth, from where I burned myself on some ridiculously hot potatoes.

I'm still left to my own devices.

So I'm venting.

And contemplating, one of my favorite words.

The more I contemplate, the more my normally optimistic demeanor deteriorates.

The future is bleak. Give up.

Boo-hoo.

And this is the point where I slap myself in the face for being a whiny, self-pitying weakling. Willpower is everything. Press onward, forge ahead, don't give up. What a philosophy to live by.

Live by it I shall. I can feel some of that positive attitude returning as I type. Plus, there's always hope. Hope that somehow I'll be able to alleviate my discontent, be able to smother all my weaknesses, be able to continue.

Life goes on, you know?

Man, there's nothing quite like a good depression to renew your outlook on life.

And the supermodel says, "I stepped on three ducks."

In accordance with the prophecy.

Prom Is A Devious Concept

I cannot believe it.

I am baffled and amazed.

Prom.

Didn't.

Suck.

And now it's time for my extensive, exclusive, completely accurate and unbiased review!

This year was much, MUCH better than last year, though that may just be because I wasn't completely alone this time. I went to Jake's house, from there we went with Jenny to Jordan's house, and then met up with Jes and Thomas at the country club where prom was being held.

The first hour and a half or so was spent sitting. Sitting and talking. And starving. Such slow service! But I'm okay with that. There were some fun conversations. We did dangerous things with the glasses and stole flammable paraphanalia.

The meal itself I enjoyed. The chicken was alright, but much better with some steak sauce. Oh, A1, how could I live without you? The potatoes were awesome, and the green beans were tolerable. I did, however, have to put up with the horrid stench of the mushrooms on the steaks that the others had. Ugh, mushrooms....Dessert was divine. Oh, that cheesecake! I would kill for another piece!

After that we, well, sat some more. I did engage in a bit of involuntary dancing. I did horrible, horrible things that should never be repeated. We went outside, and basically stayed there. Only a few trips back in. Then we left.

Now that the tolerable stuff is out of the way, on to the complaints! First and foremost, WHAT WAS WITH THAT NAME?! "A Moonlit Rose Affair." WTF. It's like someone just spliced together the titles from two or three romance novels. Put a little more effort into the creative process, people!!!

There was an awful lot of sex, both literally and figuratively. I wish people could at least wait until the got home or to a hotel, if they can't restrain themselves altogether. Whatever happened to willpower?

The music was horrid. True, they played Billy Jean, and some MC Hammer, and the Electric Slide, but the rest was just stereotypical dance crap.

MY BROTHER SAT AT MY TABLE AND HE WAS MAKING OUT THE WHOLE TIME AND HIS GIRLFRIEND GOT GLITTER ALL OVER MY CHAIR AND I WISH I WAS THE TYPE OF GUY WHO INDULGED IN CURSING BECAUSE RIGHT NOW THAT WOULD BE ALL YOU'D HEAR!!!!!

.....I mean, read.

So, I guess, prom did suck. But I was able to enjoy it anyways. Huzzah for euphoria!

Afterprom was awesome. Oh, so much bowling. I don't think my thumb will ever be the same. I can hardly move it! Well, perhaps I'm stretching the truth a bit....

I didn't win any prizes. I was very upset, and ready to destroy the world, but Shane, thanks a million, vouched for me and got me a couple of unclaimed prizes. A speedway fuel card, which I gave to him as thanks, since I don't drive anyways, and a $25 Applebees gift card. Now I just need to figure out who to go to Applebees with.....

The food was great. Oh, those meatballs. Oh, that BBQ chicken. Wait.....I've been saying "Oh" a lot, haven't I? I'll stop now.

All in all, afterprom was as big a success as it always is. I'm gonna have to come back next year, even though I'll have already graduated. I just can't pass up a chance like that.

So. Last night was incredible, in many senses of the word. But I'm sure I'll forget about most of it within two days. That's the way the cookie crumbles, I suppose.

One last note: I lost a pair of socks at some point last night. I was traumatized.

And the heroic swordfighter says, "Shall we dance? Ha ha!"

Link of HyRULEZ

Thanks to all those readers out there for your.....months.....of loyalty. I've got a bonus, all-for-the-readers post here. It's a link-o-rama, and I do not mean the hero from the Zelda series.

The following is a carefully compiled list of flash cartoons, music videos, and other little goodies that I thought I should share. I plan on updating it occasionally, as I find newer and better stuff, so if you're bored enough to actually check this site out again, there may be something new to watch.

Here we go.

Fighter vs. Black Mage
IMario
Work It
Link
War
Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me ((Not for kids.))
Windows Noises
Cows With Guns
Pie Hole
Peanuts ((Not for kids.))
Feuer Frei
Mr. Sandman
She Blocked Me
Don't Touch That
Idioth ((Not for kids.))
Daft Punk Hidden Message ((Probably not for kids.))
Bunnies ((Not for kids.))
Bang Bang Bang ((Not for kids.))
Coconuts ((Not for kids.))
Gollum Rap ((Not for kids.))
Star Wars Gangsta Rap
Volare
Schfifty Five
Internet Killed The Video Star ((Not for kids.))
Jelly- Olskoo NES
Tiny Plaid Ninjas
Pokee ((Not for kids? Can't remember.))
Mime After Mime ((Same here.))
Dude Falling
Mario Twins
Cereal Bawks
I Like Cheese
The Hand-Eye Coordination Test
XiaoXiao No. 3
Super Mario Blitz
The Evil Strawberry
Bloodninja ((Definately not for kids.))
Cybersex ((Again, adult material.))
French Military Victories
My New Blog, Sketchmo ((Practically pornography))
No Remorse ((Absolutely inappropriate.))
Experimental Film
Homestar Theme
Cheat Theme
Everybody To The Limit

Just a few more things.

Sorry, Jacob, if you're offended by any socks you might see.

It might take a computer to run these videos, rather than a piece of crap from hell, JORDAN.

And everyone, I mean EVERYONE, has to try the hand-eye coordination test. Great fun.

Well, hope you enjoy.

And Marius says, "I feel my soul on fire!!" (Put it out, put it out!)

Wonder Woman

For those of you who are wondering, this is my very good friend Jordan. She's a bit of a Wonder Woman fanatic, and I apologize. This is the best picture I have of her.

NOW do you understand why I had some problems with her before?

I mean, look at those shoes!

And the fat lady sings.

The Original DNA Was Sooo Much Better

Okay, okay, I take back anything negative I have ever said about the Hitchhiker's Guide movie. I saw it tonight, and was astounded by how true to Douglas it was.

First off, that friggin' dolphin song was the greatest thing I've ever heard in my LIFE.

Well, maybe not the greatest. But it still rocked.

Second, the Vogons were terrific. Infinitely better than those of the original TV series. I'm sure DNA would be proud.

The changes to the script were fun, since I couldn't exactly predict everything that happened. Plus, the fact that Douglas Adams made the changes himself adds much to their tolerability.

I very much enjoyed the guide animations. True to their origins, and still an improvement.

If a sequel does not come out, than stay away. I'll be packing a gun and shooting to kill. And playing to thrill. And eating to fill?

ACDC ROCKS!

Anywho, I dedicate this post to one of the greatest minds of all time.

Douglas Noel Adams
Born March 11, 1952
Died May 11, 2001

The universe will never be the same without you. I hope you managed to take a towel with you.

And Marvin says, "Well, excuse me for breathing, which I never do anyways, so I don't know why I bother mentioning it, oh, how I hate my life...."