Just A Warning...

So, yeah. I'm gonna be gone for a while. Like, three weeks a while. Hopefully, my computer will be coming with me. If it does, I'll continue to update.

I'm considering starting a "Chronicles of Chrissick" miniseries, recording my adventures in the small-town jungle. If any of you have ever wondered what a ninja does when confronted with life-threatening boredom, here's your chance.

I'll try to post every few days, so none of you forget that I'm alive. It's important that no one thinks I'm dead. If they do, how can I take credit for all of my dastardly schemes?

UPDATE: I made it! I'm alive and kicking! So you can look forward to several posts regarding the boring and mediocre capers that I'm planning on.....planning.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Okay, I don't feel like cluttering up this page with a bajillion new posts that I'm doing just out of boredom, so I made an entirely new page. For your benefit.

I do care.

So here it is: SLOWTOWN!!!

And the maniacal villain says, "Bwamwahahahahahahaaaaaaaa!"

Bored

I feel the urge to post....but have nothing to talk about.

So it's story time!!

Once, long, long ago, there was a great and terrible war. The armies of Difefretn-Plenat A were sweeping across the universe in a wave of destruction so vast that it threatened the existence of countless galaxies. Their titanic Stormers vaporized any planet in their path, extinguishing trillions of lives each day. The only thing...

Oh, nevermind. I suck at this today.

So what on or off of Earth can I talk about that will keep your attention?

.....

I finished my Zelda CDs...

.....

I want the G.I. Joe with the kung-fu action grip.
I want Nintendo with the extra graphics micro chip.
Tackle football, with rocks and sticks and knives and pain.
I want the truck with the four-wheel drive train.

.....

Geez, this is my worst post EVER. Feel free to never visit this site again out of disgust.

I may even remove this post in a couple of days. I'm pretty disgusted myself.

And I say, "I suck. Deal with it."

Goodbye

This will be my final post. I want you all to know that I've enjoyed this immensely, and am very sorry to end it now, but...

I just can't keep going. It's getting to be very demanding, and--

Tee hee.

Okay, I can't keep that up very long. This isn't the end. This is simply an entry regarding the past several days, graduation, and the road ahead.

Had you going, though, didn't I?

Okay, guess not.

So it's been over a week since my last post. Sorry for the delay, but I knew that tonight would be an event I wanted to cover. Let's see, what's happened...

Sunday, I...slept...I think. That was really nice. I do enjoy sleeping, and I haven't been able to take part in that particular hobby nearly as much as I would have liked to, lately. Sleeping and eating, which I also did.

Man, it's good to be free.

Monday I slept some more. I played a lot of Battlefield: 1942, easily one of the best games ever created. I could play it for days straight, if it weren't for the fact that I would probably die in the process, from lack of silly little things like food and sleep. That's why I'm stockpiling, to prepare for a week of solid gaming. I hope it works...you can stockpile sleep, can't you?

This pretty much continued through Tuesday and Wednesday, with random bits of cleaning, conversations, and excretion thrown in there. All in all, a lot of fun. Relaxation to the max. Well, Xtreme relaxation, at least. It wouldn't be to the max unless I was relaxing on a snowboard.

Maybe I should take up snowboarding...

Thursday I caved in and took a little trip to the high school, just to visit and pass out senior pics. My bike got a lot of excercise that day, not to mention myself. Heavy C wasn't there to teach, and so I was pretty much free to come and go as I pleased. I passed out pictures to whomever I could find, and then biked up to Frank's for a large grape slush, only $1.30. That was delicious.

When I returned, it was 7th period, and I had nothing better to do, so I decided to take a little nap in the band room, get in some sleeping practice, you know. Before long, the birdly woman who was substituting had to take a little trip to the office. No problem, right? WRONG.

While she was away, Darth Dee, as he shall forever be known, dropped in and began to yell at Beth, who was also there.

"WHY ARE YOU PUNK KIDS IN HERE, RAAAAARGH!" he said.
"Oh, it is Darth Dee, the evil and powerful....and forgetful. What do you want, evil horrible ugly man?"
"I WANT TO EAT YOU! YOU ARE IN HERE ALONE, WHY ARE YOU IN HERE ALONE, YOU SHOULD NOT BE IN HERE ALONE!! RAAARGHARH!"
"I come here every day, I have a study hall. You should die, rather than become a professional swimmer, as is your dream."
"BUT THAT DOES NOT MATTER, BECAUSE THE BIRD WOMAN IS GONE, AND YOU ARE NOT!! GGGGRRRAAAAIUUUURGH!"
"She left for a brief visit to the office, and will return shortly. Would you like some arsenic soda, or a live black widow salad? Or even a bullet in the head?"
"GO BACK TO STUDY HALL, YOU CANNOT BE IN HERE EVEN IF IS FOR TEN SECONDS IF YOUR TEACHER IS GONE! IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE WHEN I KEEP HAVING TEACHERS CALLED TO THE OFFICE! EERRRRRRIIIIIINGH!"
"Oh, okay. I suppose I have to do what you say. I don't want you to eat me."

Here, he turned his attention on me.

"AND WHERE ARE YOU HERE FROM, YOU OLDER, STRONGER, SMARTER, MUCH MORE ATTRACTIVE PUNK KID, BLLAAAAAAAAARRRRAAAAACK?!"
"First, you're sick, but thank you for the honesty. Second, my home. I'm a senior. I've returned to school to pay band fees."
(A blatant lie, but I was desperate.)
"WELL, COLLINS IS NOT HERE, SO BEGONE, BEFORE I BITE YOU AND TRANSFORM YOU INTO ONE OF MY UNDEAD SEXUAL MINIONS, LIKE ALL THOSE OTHER LITTLE BOYS! FFFFROOOOOOAAAAAEEEEUUUUIIIRRGHH!"
"As you wish, --explitive deleted-- --explitive deleted--, and may you --explitive deleted-- your own --explitive deleted--."
"RASSAFRASSIN BRUUUAAARGH!"

Now, come on. Are students actually expected to go back to class when their teachers leave for the office? I think he's just a mean person, and I'm sure most other people do, too. I can't believe there's an award named for him...that jerk.

I went out to the concession stand and waited for 8th period, which was only about 20 minutes. Then I took my bike inside and chatted with Jes, Jordan, and a giant freak. That was okay. I could have done without the freak, though.

Seriously. Giant people make me uncomfortable. I'm used to feeling tall, which I am. He makes me feel like a midget. It's disconcerting.

I, being the speed demon I am (Go, Speed Racer, go!!), managed to get home on my bike before my bus did. I'm so glad that I'm a beast. It comes in handy. Sure, I was pretty tired when I arrived, but it was nice to be relaxing in a chair with a tall glass of water, seeing my brother walk in and exclaim, "How'd you get here?!"

Friday I went to graduation rehearsal. They didn't teach us very well. Or maybe I just didn't pay attention. I'll explain this later.

I got my Cum Laude cords there. That's right, I'm mediocre! When it comes to effort, at least. Perhaps it would have been wise to try a bit harder over the last four years, but I don't regret it. Life would not have been the same without hours of vegging out, or gaming, or socializing. I can't regret what I've done. See previous posts for further insights into this.

My cord broke while I was waiting for Megan to take me home. How cheap is that? I was just swinging it around in a circle, and one of the blue tassles fell off! I was so upset, I collapsed onto the concrete and cried for hours, curled up and sucking my thumb. At least, I considered it. But my dear, sweet, loving mother was able to sew it back on. Take THAT, misfortune! In your face!

Saturday was party day. I had been up very late on Friday, and was tempted to sleep through Sam's party, but couldn't bring myself to do it. So I dragged myself out of blissful sleep and to her house. I suppose it was worth it, because I had a good time. Plus, the french toast was awesome.

I enjoyed my excursion into the fascinating world of reckless driving. Thank you, Matt, you've broadened my horizons.

I went home, and spent the next four hours preparing for my own graduation party. Yeah, I live in a family of procrastinators, and I am easily the worst of them. I brought out my computer, to avoid the whole mess with changing CDs and selecting songs, and to provide a wider range of music. We sat and talked and listened and fought and generally had a good time for a while. Then we moved out front for some frisbee awesomocity. That was friggin awesome. Awesome it was. I'll say awesome one more time. Awesome.

Then we ate. Hot dogs and chips and such.

Then we played ultimate frisbee. That was so much fun, I don't have a word to describe it, so I'll do my best and describe it as (awesome x sweet)^wickedness TO THA MAX! Yes, it took a while for teams to balance temselves, and in the beginning my team was getting creamed, but once we had a bit of talent to compliment my own, no offense Jenny and Alex, we owned them. Yeah, Jake, you NEWBIE!

Or were you on my team?

Anywho, we continued from frisbee to bocce ball, the most simple game in the world of lawn sports. Jes and I were ahead, and then Darren stepped in. We lost. Blast you, Darren, and your substitution of talent for luck! Don't you know that luck always wins?! I swear, if Jes and Jordan had been on a team, we all would have been in trouble. Even if I had paired up with Abran.

Following that was a short round of Matrix-emulation and intentional physical violence.

The huge fire in the back yard distracted us from that, though.

The huge, CONTROLLED fire, that is. Bonfire. Essential for late parties. We burned ourselves a few times, then I left with JJ to get s'mores supplies. On the way to the store, we spotted a cat chasing a fox, and several ghosts! It was spooky.

We returned with plenty of marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate, but no means of roasting anything. Abran and I tried our fingers, but didn't get very far. I got some knives, and that helped, but still tended to melt our skin. So JJ grabbed a stick or two. I stuck with the knife, out of sheer stubbornness. I'm proud to say that I didn't cry even once.

Slowly, people began to leave. When it got to be around 12:30, there were only five guests left, and we weren't doing much, so Jake and I played Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King for the remaining time. We ate a couple leftover hot dogs, and everyone left me.

Total income from the party: $61. Very nice, considering that these were friends, and they were under absolutely no obligation to get me anything at all. Nice even for a birthday, with tons of relatives or something. Far more than I expected. I got things other than money, of course, some good, some awesome. I am hopelessly addicted to Sobes, after all.

Afterwards, I went to Alex's house to play Counterstrike. He found a great new map, Inferno, that he wanted to show me. He went to sleep around 2:30, and I remained, talking to myself, fiddling with Counterstrike occasionally, until 4:30. I went to my assigned bed, and found the room far too hot to sleep. I'm used to wearing very little in my own room, with two fans on me, underground where it's cool anyways. So I slept in the computer room instead, suspended between two chairs, window open, a borrowed fan running. It wasn't too bad. I ended up getting roughly three and a half hours of sleep.

The next day was my SECOND graduation party. Most of my extended family showed up, and we had a pretty good time.

My dad was hooked on the idea of ultimate frisbee. He saw us playing the day before, and was determined to make us play again. So we did.

Not as awesome, I must admit.

Of course, it didn't help that the teams were four full-grown men (and I do mean full-grown, as three of them were well over 6 feet tall) and one woman vs. me, my brother, and three very weak, competitively handicapped cousins, ages 12, 10, and 6.

The sad thing is, we only lost 4-2.

Other than that, I had to sit through a lot of "catching up" and congratulations. Ugh.

Total income for that party: $300. I'm totally getting a Gamecube.

I had an interesting conversation later that night.

Other than all that, very little happened Sunday.

Which brings me, of course, to tonight. GRADU-FRIGGIN'-ATION!

I was nervous. I knew I would screw it up. And I did. But I'll get to that momentarily.

Getting dressed was a pain, as that gown is very, very hot. Not attractive, but sweaty-hot. Oh my, was I uncomfortable. Luckily, I didn't forget to bring anything with me. Not even my mother-repaired cords.

We arrived at the hall, which will remain unnamed, for security purposes, waaaay too early. For once, my parents aren't late, and I hate it, because I'm early, too. Ugh.

So I stood around for a very long time, until we were lined up and trotted off into the auditorium. That wasn't too bad, and I made no mistakes.

The speeches were good. Especially Abran's. No, I'm not biased, I just honestly think the concept and delivery were amazing.

Then came the moment I'd been dreading: that long walk across the stage. What would I do wrong? Shake with the wrong hand? Stumble? Wet myself?

Worse.

I went the wrong way. Out the wrong door. Up the wrong ramp, around through the wrong lobby, down the right ramp, and into my seat past the rest of the guys, who had already arrived.

.....

I'm an idiot.

But, no regrets! It wasn't too bad, and I seem to be the only person to mention it. Not the only one to see, but the only one to care.

The rest of the ceremony was fairly uneventful, except for the outrageous dedication of an award to that horrible man, Darth Dee. I was absolutely outraged.

Oh, well.

I had to stand around for a lot of pictures, get my diploma, buy my damaged cords, etc...

All too much fuss, really. I'm just gonna go to school again next year.

People keep asking me, do you feel any different? Will you miss it? Aren't you sad?

My answer is no.

I'm elated. I have a chance to start all over, in a world with much more freedom, more possibility. I don't have to put up with the same old idiots that I've known for twelve years. I get to meet some new ones! And while it all feels great, it also feels familiar. I'll still live in the same area, I'll still be going to school. It's just better.

I'll be attending....well, if you want to know, you can email me. SaviorOfHyrule@hotmail.com. Though I'm sure you all know already. I'm sure you can understand all my precautions. You never know what kind of sick, perverted woman may see where I live, hunt me down, and rape me. Wait.....would that be so bad?

Yeah, probably. I wouldn't want any STDs. They take too much maintenance.

I'll be majoring in Computer Engineering. Hopefully I'll be able to transfer within a year or two to a school with a more software-specific engineering program. After school, you can all expect a few groundbreaking games from Rayznside software, a co-founded venture. Jacob, you'd better hurry up and graduate. I'm not sure if I can wait three years after college to begin.

I'll write books, too. I know that much. Maybe no more than three, depending on how successful I am, but who knows? Perhaps I'll begin a new hit series. It could happen.

I'll be getting a job soon. I'm turning in applications right now. And now, after graduation, I have a nifty little resume to carry around. I'm sure that'll help my chances.

I'll also be getting my liscense, possibly a vehicle. Tres chouette.

Okay, I think that's about it. I've covered it all.

If you can think of anything else that I may have forgotten, tell me.

I apologize for the length of this post, but it's not just babble like some, so I don't feel too bad, making you read this much.

Plus, you know you enjoyed it. My life is just soooooo interesting, isn't it?

A final thought: I may be quite a man, but Abran is by far the better man. After all, he won the manhood award. I don't have one. But then again, I don't need one. I'm secure in my masculinity.

Not that Abran isn't.

It's just that full-time heroes always win the awards.

And the graduate says, "Excelsior!"